Who is Amber69 and How Does She Know About My Small Tool?

I do not go through my spam folder often. I just kind of assume that it is catching all the junk I do not need to see. But last night, curiosity got the better of me and I decided to check the folder to see if I was missing anything important. And boy, am I glad I checked!

I do not know what to do about it, but there are people out there who seem to know way too much about me! Take the message from Amber69 with the subject line, "Big Solutions for Your Small Tool." I take her criticism to be a little harsh, but how does she know me? And how has she seen me naked? Or has she been talking to someone, and if so, who are they? But the problem is bigger than Ms. 69, because I had other alarming messages such as, "Why she's not satisfied", "Growth you need", and "She's not fantasizing about you."

But all is not lost. Monique McQueen says she can "Recharge My Love Weapon." Big75 says he can, "Give my bomb a longer timer." And I am intrigued about Charlynn's promise to show me how to "Beat the neighbors in a love marathon." I am a bit concerned about how my neighbors figure into this, but I obviously have problems that need to be addressed, so I should at least hear Charlynn out.

My Kid Should Watch More TV

That was the gist of the thought I had this morning. I'd fed him breakfast and popped on an episode of Curious George, then I hopped in the shower. Within 10 minutes, he was inside the bathroom gabbing at me and bopping a punch balloon against the shower curtain. All I could think of was, "Man...he used to watch at least 2 hours of TV in the morning if he could. What happened?" He's 4 years old, and for the last few months he's been all, "Play with me, Daddy!" and "Read me a book, Daddy." What's an anti-social introvert to do?

I've tried to get him into video games. I've bought him action figures. He has every Pixar DVD. I DVR The Spectacular Spider-man twice a week. But still, he seems to crave human interaction. What am I doing wrong? I have it on good authority from my parents that I used to play quietly with my Star Wars action figures for hours at a time when I was 5 years old. Obviously, the proper genes were not passed along.

This is what I get for marrying someone who spent high school doing musical theatre. Apparently that extrovert gene is dominent.

Subtitled

In the past three weeks I have watched two foreign films that were really good. I am not going to get into any analysis or anything, I just wanted to mention them.

The first was Let the Right One In, a Swedish vampire film. This was very different from any American vampire film I have ever seen, and I'm a fan of vampire films so I have seen a lot of them. Basic premise: Lonely twelve-year-old boy, part of a broken home and plagued by bullies, meets the new girl who just moved into the apartment next door. They become friends, even though she does not go to school and only comes out to play after sunset. And oh, someone was recently attacked in a nearby park and the killer attempted to drain their blood. It is one of those movies that is not quite what you'd expect and does not play out according to any traditional Hollywood formula. This one is sweet and twisted at the same time.

Switching gears to the other foreign film: I watched the French thriller, Tell No One. There is nothing revolutionary about this one and it should appeal to just about any American movie-watcher who likes the mystery-suspense genre, but it's freakin' good. The movie is actually based on a book of the same name by U.S. novelist Harlan Coben. Basic premise: Young doctor Alex Beck and his wife are assaulted one night; he is hospitalized and she is murdered. Eight years later, Beck receives an email which offers proof that his wife is alive and tells him "They're watching. Tell no one." A lot of great twists and turns in this one if you are a fast reader and can keep up with the subtitles.

I hear that both movies are being adapted for U.S. versions. Tell No One will do just fine, although I'm sure a rock-music soundtrack and more gunplay will be added. I read the book last year and I would recommend that too if you are a reader. I cannot imagine that Hollywood would do anything but butcher Let The Right One In. I am not a film snob by any means, but I just can't see a major studio being brave enough to stay true to the whole plot. So rent that one an enjoy it now as it was meant to be seen.