Let's Form a Mob

I've never been part of a mob and you don't see many good old-fashioned mobs nowadays. I think it would be cool to be part of something like that. I'm not talking about a protest group; I don't feel that strongly about anything and I don't want to have to waste my time making a bunch of stupid signs and coming up with cheesy rhymes to support the "cause." I'm talking about a nice, torches and pitchforks angry mob. Everyone knows I'm a non-violent guy, so I'm not proposing we turn over cars or smash storefronts. That's rioter territory and I just don't see myself as a rioter.

No, I just think it would be a good feeling to be part of a mob where I could wave my torch (or pitchfork), shake my fist, and unleash guttural screams. It would be good therapy and I don't cut loose often enough. Being part of a mob would let me vent while providing me with the anonymity I crave. Also, I do not have any society memberships, sports teams, or clubs I belong to, so this would get me out of the house and allow me to network with others. And it's a lot cheaper than a club or sports team. And no membership dues.

I realize that a mob needs a target. We need to be going somewhere because if we just stood around in a field with our torches screaming at the moon, people might think we're a coven. So, I have a few target ideas for our angry mob:

1. Brett Farve : I do not have anything against him, but someone needs to keep him in his house and make this retirement stick. I'm tired of hearing about him. I think an angry mob could make him stay home. And if he comes out...cool, I get to meet Brett Farve.
   
2. Max & Ruby: I've mentioned before how much they piss me off, so this would make them a good target. We can surround the house and drag Max off to halfway house that can deal with someone with his "special" needs. Ruby gets the full mob treatment.
   
3. The Monster: A classic target and someone needs to do something about him. We'd have to stay clear of the fortress walls because of the boiling oil, but I don't think that the authorities would object to our presence.

Now, if this still doesn't interest anyone, I would consider a drunken mob. We'd have to ditch the torches, because I don't think alcohol and fire mix well. My fear is that as a drunken mob, we'd end up singing outside Carmen Harlan's house or something like that.

I just need to see if Lowe's carries pitchforks.